Wow

I find it so funny that yesterday I posted about my mornings waking up, and what I have to look forward to, and boom it happened this morning.

When I started this crazy blog thins, I wrote about a woman that I really respected, and how she really touched my life. I was giving her all kinds of credit, and then as the days went on, I wrote about how she changed things so fast by a few words that she tried to tell.

This morning I woke up to a text from her. It was so out of the blue that I had to read it a few times actually. I was blown away by what it said. I am telling you. My mornings and what I wake up with, there is never a dull moment ever.

Waking Up

So my world is a little different then most people out there. When I go to bed, I give thanks for whatever I need to give thanks for. Mainly that I am still alive and I have not taken to many people down and out of my path that day. When I finally lay down I always say to myself, "Tomorrow has got to be better then today" My next thought is, what am I going to wake up to through out the night. My phone will usually ring a few times through out the night. Sometimes they are good calls and others are a waste of my time. Depending on how early my phone rings, will determine how my day will be. That is crazy isn't it? Who wakes up wondering how their phone will ring and how that will set the tone for the day. What a life I live. It is a good thing I like it most of the days.

Some Things Better Left Unsaid

Do you ever have days that things are going well and you are enjoying your day, then Smack. Something happens and within a blink of an eye, your mood changes, your thoughts change and everything about the day has now changed. I have learned on those days, to just keep my mouth shut and not say anything more. I open my mouth sometimes when I just should have bit my tongue and let certain things fly out the window. But instead I have to say, oh well next time I won't say a word. And then I have to go about my day like things are A ok.

So with all of that being said, I will try harder to leave things unsaid and put a lovely smile on my face and hold back the words and just say it so no one can hear.

Holding Onto Something

I don't know about you, but do you ever need something to hold onto or look forward to so you can make it one more day? I know I like to have something to look forward to so that each day does not seem like the day I just had yesterday. Some days just go on and on. You wonder when something will change. Something all of a sudden changes, and it is like dang, I was not ready for that. I like to look forward to a trip or a event. It helps me get thru my days that just run together. Lately when the late afternoon hits, I sit there and think, oh my gosh, I have to do all of this tomorrow. Get up, shower, do make up and hair and do the same thing again. I know sounds, crazy, but believe me. Day after day it gets old. I want to look forward to a trip, or a really neat event or ANYTHING that is not my normal day. I just want a trip. I think a trip might change my day or weeks up a little. I know I am not looking forward to Winter. That sounds awful. I like sunshine and warm days to sit outside and enjoy the kids. I don't like to be stuck inside where no one sees each other for 5 months. You forget you even have neighbors. To funny.

So here is to looking forward to something. I hope everyone has something to look forward too. I hope I can find something.

Rainbows

As we drove through the mountains the other night, there were 2 beautiful rainbows. One was right above the other one. As we got closer to them the colors were so bright. I thought of a rainbow compared to life. Sometimes things in our lives are so bright that you do not want them to ever end. Other times when they start to fade away you are ok with that, or maybe not. A rainbow always has such perfect color formation, perfect color, perfect alignment. You can look at a rainbow and just stare at it and be amazed how it never ends, it just keeps going and following you as you are driving. If life could only be like a rainbow. What would the world be like. Would every thing be just so perfect that we would get bored, or would things be less complicated because things would be so simple and defined. Just interesting when you think about it.

My Stomach

My stomach will not stop hurting. It does not hurt like I have anxiety. It hurts like something is not sitting right. I know why I have it, I just can't seem to get it to go away. I will be so ready for this to be over with already. Everyday something new is discovered and it always seems to pin point it back to we were right. I am sure as heck not saying we are perfect, but we really keep figuring things out. It is so interesting to me that as you start talking thru things with people, that your memory is jogged and you think of different things that will help you solve the issue at hand. I want to lay it all out on a table for everyone to see it, have every person involved at the table, and then let's see who starts talking. It goes back to, can everyone look each other in the eyes as they are talking. That will be the true test. I know this can not happen because people want to make a few bucks. That bites because I think that could solve it all fast.

So we will sit and wait it out again to see where the next ball is thrown. I hope I can keep hanging in there to see this thing thru. I am not sure how many more I can take. On the other hand, I better just suck it up because as long I am doing this, this kind of crap will keep getting thrown at me.

Welcome

Wow, isn't it interesting where life can take us. We may cross paths with people and wonder why, we met at that time. When you you start talking or reading about that person, something will usually jump out and touch your heart. We often are to fast to push it aside and not reflect on why. Thanks for crossing my path today. I hope that if anything else, I will make you laugh, or cry, or even wonder why, we were led down this path today.

I met a lady today that has touched my life. She has done the most unselfish thing any mother could ever do. What a lot of people do not see is what she has done is given a little girl the life that she has always dreamed of her to have. Sometimes that choice does not allow you to be the one that gets to snuggle her in at night, or wash the dirty face just right. You may not even get to hear her cry. What is does let you do, is remember the time you had one on one, and remember the smell on her checks when you held her so tight. People can tell you how they feel, people can tell you how you will fail. What they can not tell you is how you will sail.

You will hold your head high even when they tear you down. You will hold your head high when a tear gets in your eye. Tears will come and tears will go, you will never be able to control the flow. Don't let anyone get you down, because until they take that one small stroll, they will never know.

Adoption is such a bitter sweet experience that everyone can cast their vote on. Some will agree and others will fight it in all degrees. It is the ones that do not have the knowledge that seem to find the defeat. It does not take long to ask a few questions. It does not take long to get you in the right direction. It does take long for you to battle, when you are swimming uphill with no paddle. You can never ask to many questions. You can never feel ashamed, or pass any judgement. So I will tell you again, and don't ask why. Hold your head high, even when you laugh or cry.